'Cause It's A Hard Line That You Take...

Jill Barber - Hardline


I forgot to mention, we had our 3,000th visitor!

The winner is...drumroll...A STRANGER IN PUERTO RICO!!! Oh. Wait. Damn. They got to my site via a Google Images search.

Well, on to the next person! And, the winner is...again, drumroll...OUR LOYAL PITTSBURG READER!!! Now, while I don't know who you are, I'm assuming I've met you. (Troy, is it you? You silly boy.) Also, I'd like to say I have a prize for you, but I'm poor, so I don't. But just know that I love you.

They were followed directly afterwards by a reader in Grand Rapids, who I also love. Even though you didn't win. Don't worry, there's always 4,000.

You Know That I Was Hoping That I Could Leave This Star-Crossed World Behind. But When They Cut Me Open, I Guess I Changed My Mind...

The Killers - Spaceman

So I'm a fan of the newest Killers album. It's clearly not as good as Hot Fuss, but it's the best thing they've put out since then. By far. They apparently remembered that they're The Killers, not Bruce Springsteen, and went back to music that they know how to play. If you'd like any of the songs, I have them, so give me a holla.


So I've been home for the weekend, thus away from my computer, and lots has happened. Truth. But I'm going to simply pretend it didn't happen, because instead, I'd like to talk about the drive back to school. This drive generally takes two hours max. And that's when driving slowly, or riding on a horse. So it's not a long way.

Today, it took FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. Yeah. It was snowing for part of the way, meaning that everyone decided it was time to drive 23 miles an hour. I wanted to punch all of them through the windshield. Naturally, we tried the time tested method of continuing to switch lanes, knowing perfectly well that right when we switched, the other lane would start to move. Really, we were doing it for the good of the rest of the drivers. We wanted to keep it even, and not have one lane of people unable to move, simply because of our presence.


Oh, and until last night, ObnoxiouslyHappySister had seen neither Can I Have Your Number nor Bro Rape on YouTube. What kind of person in her early twenties hasn't seen these? Girl please.

So I'm Moving To New York 'Cause I've Got Problems With My Sleep...

The Wombats - Moving To New York


So I've watched a string of movies over the past few days: A Man Apart (epicly bad), Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (adorable), and Romeo and Juliet (always one of my favs). But the most surprising one I watched was Monster House. IT'S SO EPIC. I had no idea.

So I was with one of my friends, eating ice cream sundaes, and she suggested that we watch it. I won't lie to you, I was a little hesitant at first. The previews looked stupid. Real real stupid. But I gave in. But I assured her that if it was anything less than magical, I'd probably have to kill her brutally. But she was up for the challenge.

I was dying. It was so so funny. I wasn't ready for it. The opening scene with the little girl singing...a masterpiece ("hello sky!"). That's beautiful.

So basically what I'm saying is that if you haven't seen it yet, shame on you. Go watch it.

Yeah You Got The Weight Of The World Coming Down Like A Mother's Eye...

Spoon - I Summon You (Demo)

Now, this demo version came out on the bonus disc of the album Gimme Fiction, on which the actual version appeared. But I like the demo more. Thus, I'm choosing that one instead, and this awkward video happened to have the demo version, so here you go. But if you like the demo, listen to the original too.


Let me explain the situation last night to you. So my apartment was having a little party. So I stayed for part of it, then went out to hang out with some other people, and then came back around 2ish, with the party still going strong.

So I'm talking with people, and GayRoommate comes up to me, pulls me aside, holds up the pizza cutter he's holding, and we hold this awkward conversation:

"We have to hide the pizza slicer!"

"Wait, why?"

"Because people want it, and we have to hide it."

"Why do people want it?"

"Keep your voice down! People will hear you!"

"Okay. Let's hide it then. Where would be a good place?"

thinks for a few moments "IN THE CUPBOARD!!"

"Sounds magical. Let's go."

opens up my cupboard and puts the pizza cutter in my box of Apple Jacks "Perfect!"

"Good job. It's safe now."

smiles weakly, and finds himself another beer while mumbling "It's mine bitches..."


Oh, in case it wasn't apparent, GayRoommate was incredibly inebriated. Which meant when he was making a frozen pizza this morning (a legit choice for breakfast; it went well with my pizza rolls and White Castle), he was unable to find the pizza cutter:

"Fuck! Where's the pizza slicer?"

"Well where'd you leave it?"

"I don't know!"

"Maybe check the cereal? I think it sometimes gets left in the Apple Jacks."

while going in my cupboard and looking in the Apple Jacks "What? Why would it be in the...the fuck?"

"Now that's just silly. I wonder who keeps putting it there. We should look into that."

still confused, as he removes it and slices his pizza "Yeah...we should..."


I'm a fan of that boy.

...mumbles...Fuck The Golden Youth, Now We Know The Truth...mumbles...Crack Babies?...more mumbles...

Fuck The Golden Youth - The Mint Chicks

I kind of love this band. Yes, you can't hear most of what they're saying, but they make me happy. I also like their album names: Octagon Octagon Octagon, Anti- Tiger, Fuck The Golden Youth and Crazy? Yes! Dumb? No!. You can't argue with that.

Plus, this video is epic. Any music video that features the band having apparent seizures while wearing what may or may not be tin foil is good enough for me. Plus, can we go over the fact that I'm pretty sure this probably cost a grand total of $6.28 to make, including film. And is that a naked Lenny Kravitz cardboard cut-out?


Anyhoo, today I'd like to talk about people that like to think they're doing a good deed, but they're only doing it because it takes no effort on their part, it clearly does not benefit anyone else, and they get the opportunity to tell everyone about it later (read: assholes).

Take, for example, the kid in front of me at the store who put a penny in the "Give A Penny, Take A Penny" dish. Now, I'm not saying that everyone who puts a penny in is an asshole. I do it often. But this kid was.

So he's with a girl who was far far too attractive for him, but odds are he was unaware (remember, he's an asshole). After he makes his purchase, a tin of Grizzly and a pack of Big Red, he gets his change, puts two pennies in the dish, and walks away. So far so good. It's what he did next that did it.

As he's walking away, he starts to talk: "I always like to put my pennies in. I just think it's a good thing to do, and everyone should do it. Hey, it's just a penny, but it can really help out other people. Wouldn't it be..." He kept talking, but he was too far away, and I couldn't hear him.

I looked at the cashier (who happened to be my fav cashier ever. We've had many an epic conversation), and she smiled, and I just started laughing. I couldn't help it. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.

He was bragging about giving a stranger TWO PENNIES. Hold on there slugger! Don't break the bank! Again, I have no problem with the dish. I've both dispensed and retrieved pennies from it on many occasions. But I don't think I'm doing any great service to humanity. Really, I'm just making life easier for myself and ditching some of my loose change. Hence, this boy = asshole.

The Pesos Turn To Paper Cups, My Fingers Tremble At The Touch, Like Castanets...

Bishop Allen - Like Castanets


So it's that time again. Time for me to remind you that you should all go to ourstage.com and find some magical new music. And while you're at it, you should go to the singer/songwriter (female) category and judge the songs, and if you come across "Fix Myself" by Jaimee M. Harris, you should vote for her. Because it's amazing, and I love it. And that's that.

Maybe I'm Still Searchin', But I Don't Know What It Means. All The Fires Of Destruction Are Still Burnin' In My Dreams...

Annie Lennox - Dark Road

I've recently fallen in love with Annie's most recent album that came out last year. I listened to it a little when it came out, but I've been listening to it more and more, and thus I'm loving it more and more. Then, today, I'm watching House, and what song comes on? "Dark Road" of course. Thus, song of the day.


So today I learned that one of my friends had never seen the movie Cool Runnings. In fact, he had never even heard of it. Truth. I didn't know how to react. So first, I figured I'd get my base information:

"You did indeed grow up during the 90's, yes?"

"Obviously."

"And you own a TV, yes?"

"Yes..."

"John Candy. That's a familiar name?"

"Yeah, Uncle Buck!"

"But you haven't heard of Cool Runnings?"

"No."

"Go die."


My other friends (read: my friends that I will continue to be friends with, unlike Friend X) and I then proceeded to sing the catchiest song in history, go to our fridge and kiss an egg, and try and figure out whether we could fit in our freezer. God damn I love that movie.

She's A Hundred And Fifty, This Year, With Her Hand In Her Mouth...

Pas/Cal - Poor Maude


So I spent most of tonight writing a Stats paper that's due tomorrow morning. Then I realized a couple hours ago that it wasn't due until next week, and a different paper was due tomorrow. Damn.

Good thing I killed it. I made it my bitch. Much like Ivan did to Apollo. Or like Captain Planet does to pollution. No big deal. Feel free to be jealous.


I would have been done sooner, but I had to talk someone through how to ask out a girl. He was incredibly clueless. If he weren't so pathetic, I would have had to tell him that I'd help him some other time. But really, she would have laughed, slapped him, and then walked away to make fun of him to all her friends. I had no choice.

Let's Get Rich And Give Everyone Nice Sweaters, And Teach Them How To Dance...

Ingrid Michaelson - You And I

And if you recognize the guy singing, it's Jason Mraz, singer of that ridiculous, cliched, not very good, but terribly catchy song that I often find myself singing as I walk to practice, "I'm Yours." But while that song sucks, I do like his cover of Queen's "Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy." While he clearly isn't as good as Freddie, he does have a bomb voice.


Now upon reading this article, I was only a little confused. Well, really I was confused after reading just the title: "Mystery Piano In Woods Perplexes Police." Because my first thought was "so there's a piano in the woods. Why are the police involved?"

So I read the article, and believe it or not, I had the exact same thought after reading it. First off, who is the woman that called the police? As far as I can tell, this was her thought process: "Look a tree! Leaves are weird. So is dirt. I think I'm outside. Shit, I forgot my name. Look a tree! I like clouds. Look a tree! That's a nice breeze. A piano! Call the cops!!!!! Look a tree!" I mean, honestly. She sees a piano, and CALLS THE POLICE. Really?

I guess I just don't get it. If, for example, the piano was dripping in blood, or was on fire, or I was aware of a series of piano thefts in my neighborhood, then maybe I would call the police. But let's face it, I probably wouldn't. I'm simply too lazy.

But titling that picture of the cop looking at the piano "Liberace"...those crazy policemen!! Always a hoot!


Oh, and this article just makes me laugh. Not really the content of it, per se. More just the title. In fact, I'm laughing as I write this. I'm pretty sure I'll always think its funny. I can't help it.


So I was at a party last night where I met the coolest person in the history of the world. We discussed our mutual love for Regina Spektor. He finally conceeded that she was mine to marry, which is just as well, because he was gay.

With Some Comfortness...

Backpocket - Hey, No (Best song title ever? I hear, exclusively, from band insiders that it was simply the phrase used by one of the bandmates to voice his opposition to a proposed title. Also, the word "comfortness"...yeah, we're pretty sure it's going into Webster's.)


Now, we may have lost to OSU today, but I am not discouraged. There's always next year. Punks.

But in all honesty, I'm super sad. Not that football is over, because it was killing my soul. But mostly because I'm going to miss the rest of the team an immense amount. Truth. I've spent every day with them since the end of July, and I can't imagine what my life is going to be without them. I don't know that I've ever experienced sadder hugs than I had after the game, even at legit sad events: funerals, doomed marriages, etc..

But I suppose I'll deal.


Oooh, but in happier news, everyone can now comment on posts, regardless of whether you have a Google account or not. Apparently, previously this was not the case. But I was bored and looking through my settings, and I changed it.

I can't think of very many reasons why you would comment on a post, other than to make me happy. But that's a very good reason.


So my apartment is having a party tonight, which I'll have to make an appearance at I suppose, but I have many a place to be. I feel as if they'll understand, no? Or is it wrong of me to ditch my own party? In my defense, I had no idea it was happening until yesterday. I'm so well-informed...

This Night Is Gonna End, When We're Damn Well Ready For It To Be Over...

Against Me! - Thrash Unreal

First off, don't even judge me because of this song. I love it. I understand that Against Me! isn't really what we would high-quality, thought-provoking music, but it's still great. So bam. The refrain (with the ba ba ba's) is magical. And it makes me super happy.

Plus the part about the house lights coming up always makes me think of that one 30 Rock episode where they go to the party, and then the after party, and then the after after party, and then the after after after party, and so forth, until eventually it's the middle of the next day. And it makes me giggle.


So I won't lie to you, today was a little embarassing. So I had class from 8 to 10, and promptly came home and went back to sleep until 6:30. Yeah. No big deal. And if I hadn't felt bad about myself when my roommate woke me up to make sure I wasn't dead, I would have gone back to sleep.


Speaking of my roommates. So I've kind of lost my voice, so that I now sound "like a transvestite," as several of my friends have so eloquently phrased it.

So GayRoomate, in an act of apparent concern for my well-being, says to me "open your mouth and let me look at your throat." So I say, "that's adorable," and I do. Naturally, before my mouth is even totally open he nods and says "yup, it's herpes," and walks away. Asshole.


But whatever. I don't need him! But I'm facing a serious problem now. Do I go out? I mean, it's a Friday night, so I feel as if I have to. On the other hand, I have to wake up at 4 to leave for O State. But on the other (third) hand, I just got 8 hours of sleep this afternoon. I don't know what to do.

Thus, odds are I'll go out, because I like people. Truth.

And Then He'll Blend In With All The Other Papas, Then Screw The Whole Mockingbird Situation, We Can't Even Afford A Medical Plan, Now Can We?

Regina Spektor - Mockingbird

So Regina (my future wife) recorded this song in 2000, before even her first self-released album, and long before people learned who she was in 2006 with "Fidelity." And this song basically sums up why I love her. She took a classic song, and instead of just putting her own twist on it and doing a cover of it, as it seems she is doing at the start, she turns it into a totally different song, and her lyrics make me giggle.


Anyhoo, I had my AT practical this morning on the shoulder, and I made it my bitch. You know that scene in American History X? With the curb stomping? Well that guy's face is the exam, and the foot is me. Bam!

But in more exciting news, IT'S OHIO STATE WEEKEND! And here's the deal. If we win by exactly 11 points, I get a guaranteed A in my AT lecture. Truth. So it needs to happen. God, it would be magical.

Cause' It All Happens For A Reason, And Sometimes I Wanna Believe Them...

Mike Dunn & The Kings Of New England - The Queen


Often times on when I'm on the CNN website, certain headlines really catch my attention, and I feel forced to read them. Take this one for example: "Scientists discover long-lost Furby-look-alike." Yeah.

And then look at the picture. That is not a "Furby-look-alike," as they claim. That is a Furby. Don't lie to me scientists! You brought one to life you sons of bitches! You brought back the 90's! But without bringing back musical failures like Vanilla Ice...what's that? He just released an album? Dear God.

Well at least you didn't revive Destiny's Ch...what? They're releasing an album next year? Why??

Well that's okay. Because we can all still sleep easy tonight knowing that Sugar Ray is gone for good...shit really? They're releasing an album by the end of this year?

But not the Presidents of the United States of America at leas...an album earlier this year? For real? Okay...

But Hanson's gone, right? No? They've continued recording, just released an EP, and wrote a book??

Well whatever. None of this matters, because at least Edwin McCain is out of our lives forever. Not true? He released an album earlier this year?


DAMN YOU SCIENTISTS!!! WHY NOT BLINK-182?!? OR THIRD EYE BLIND?!?

I'll Call You When I Find My Way On...

The Owls - The Way On (you have to press play in the top right cornerish)


So my amiga and I were trying to come up with ways that I could be more manly. And no, this is not because she pointed out that she's actually more of a man than I am (I just lied). So this is what we came up with. If you have any suggestions, they'll be appreciated. Seriously. You think I'm kidding, but really, if you know any manly activities that are feasible, please let me know. Anyhoo, here's what we have so far:

1. Wear a wifebeater

2. Eat more beef jerky

3. Steal shit

4. Wear ripped jeans

5. Watch Scarface more

6. Punch the wall

7. Punch the TV

8. Punch cats

9. Punch my friends

10. Punch strangers

11. Punch the air triumphantly after ever victory, no matter how small

12. High-five more (this one might not be possible. I high-five a lot)

13. Go fishing more

14. Purchase a gun

15. Go on a safari

16. Go deer hunting

17. Go bear hunting

18. Go bear hunting with no weapons except my hands

19. Talk loudly on my Bluetooth device in public while making eye contact with people so they think I'm talking to them, and if they respond, I'll point at my Bluetooth device and smirk in such a manner so as to say, "oh, I'm not talking to you, I was talking on my phone via this trendy Bluetooth device. Yes, it's quite technologically advanced. Thank you for noticing. Feel free to be jealous."

20. Jump off the roof because "it'd be badass"

21. Drink only cheap beer and liquor (PBR, Natural Light, Burnett's, etc)

22. Drive a pick-up truck

23. Make lots of jokes about women's rights (check!)

24. Listen to more Metallica and Iron Maiden

25. Grunt

26. Play rugby

27. Play hockey

28. Play football

29. Eat more brats

30. Become a lumberjack

31. Improve my plumbing skills

32. Throw things at old people

33. Follow my old high school's athletics so so closely that people will think I'm confused as to whether I think I still go there or not

34. Drive a Hummer

35. Own a giant stainless steel grill that can grill a sturgeon

36. Deep fry my Thanksgiving turkey

37. Refer to my friends as "broseph"

38. Subscribe to Car & Driver magazine

39. Have sex with a new girl each night from now on until the day I die and never speak to them again (a la Entourage)

40. Wink at strangers (I can then proceed to #10 so as to be more efficient with my time)


That's all I've got so far. Let me know if you come up with any.

And you might be saying to yourself, "it looks to me that several of those things should be on the list 'Ways To Be More Of An Asshole.'" To that I respond, "are those two lists actually different?"

Then I Was Young And Unafraid, And Dreams Were Made And Used And Wasted. There Was No Ransom To Be Paid, No Song Unsung, No Wine Untasted...

Les Miserables (Ruthie Henshall) - I Dreamed A Dream

This song gets me pumped. I won't lie to you. But as you may or may not know, FavoriteSister did a far better version of it. And I want a copy of it so badly, because she owned.


So I have a stye on my right eye. Truth. It looks about like this. In fact, this is an actual picture of it.

Okay that was a lie. That's not the actual picture. It's worse that that. Here's the real picture. Yup. It's bleeding.

Again, that was a lie too. BECAUSE IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT! Really it's not. I can't stop lying. It's really fairly small. I'd take a picture if I had a camera. But, alas, I do not.

But I still don't like the thought that I basically have a zit on my eyelid. ewwww.

He Went Crazy At Nineteen, Said He'd Lost All His Self-Esteem, And He Coudnt Understand Why He Was Crying, Crying, Crying...

Laura Marling - Ghosts

If you remember a while ago I posted a song by Noah and the Whale. Laura Marling is a member of that band. Truth.


And what's that? You feel an epic upset of the Titans by the lowly Lions this Thanksgiving? I was thinking the same thing!!


Oh and exciting news. I was told by a stranger yesterday that I looked like I'd make a good lion tamer. Yeah. I don't know what that means either. Well I say "either" because I assume you don't know either. But if you do, please feel free to holla at me. Because right now im thinking it means either that I look like I'd handle a whip well or that my head probably isn't very easily crushable.

And Now I'm Heading Upriver, I'm Gonna Cover Myself In Mud...

The Presets - Kicking And Screaming


I'm not going to say that I made the best purchase of my life last night (or am I?), but I definately did (yup).

I bought the most bomb slingshot in history. It's one that's intended for small game hunting, and features a terrifying hunter on the cover, though his image is thrown off a little by his awkwardly large orange safety glasses.

But to go alone with it came a supply of paintballs and steel balls that are essentially ball bearings. But reading all about them, they're shatterproof, uniform in size, and "excellent for hunting." Perfect!

Now, granted, I feel bad when I see someone kill a fly, so the odds of me using this to hunt small game are fairly small. But the odds of me using it to shoot at one of my neighbors when she walks out of her door? Great. In fact, I can tell you that this has indeed already happened. Because I'm a baller.

But If You Want To Meet The Devil, You've Got To Go To Hell...

Morning Benders - Dammit Anna

So I sing this song to one of my friends named Anna every time I see her, and I always think I'm funny.


I spent so long searching online for a commercial I saw on TV, but alas, I could not find it. It's probably because it's for a local car dealership, and there's no reason for it to be online. But you at least need to know why it was so epic.

So it features, per the usual, a man walking through the parking lot of a car dealership, pointing at various cars and describing how wonderful they are, and why you need to buy them ("NO MONEY DOWN!!").

Then as he continues to walk, and the camera follows him, you see some random man standing behind one of the cars in the background. He turns and sees the camera, and quickly ducks behind the car, but you can still see him, because this guy sucks at hiding. You then see him try to scurry away, but he's super obvious as he ducks behind cars on his way out of the shot.

So I say to myself, "this is stupid marketing tactic. Is there some sort of price ninja?" But no, he's never mentioned. He legitimately was just randomly in the shot, and they decided not to, say, take 20 seconds and shoot it again. That's dedication.

The Invitation Said "Bring Your Own Shovel," So I Brought My Own Shovel. BYOS. Bring Your Own Shovel And Shovel Up The Mess...

Regina Spektor - BYOS

This song was never actually released by Regina, as it was on her demo cassette in 1999. But if you're a lameass Regina addict like I am and have all of the songs she ever recorded, and as far as you can tell, every bootlegged live song around, then you have a copy of this one. No big deal.


Anyhoo, it's time for another edition of Greatest Moment Of My Life!!

So I'm in the shower, like an hour ago, because after my 8:00 practical exam, I've been lame all day. But that's not the point. So in the shower, I'm washing my face. Again, that's not the greatest moment either. Stop being so impatient.

Anyhoo, I'm washing my face. And suddenly I had to sneeze, but it was so out of nowhere that I couldn't do anything about it, and I let out a monster sneeze. When I opened my eyes and looked at the glass shower door, there was soap on it...IN THE SHAPE OF A FACE!!!!!

It was ridiculous (or ridic, if I may). There were distinct spots where my eyes and mouth were, as there was no soap on my face in those areas. So I rinsed my face quickly and hauled ass out of the shower to go tell TallRoommate, as he was the only one home.

He loved it, so I don't even feel bad that he had to hear the story from a naked pale ganglebackasaurous (should be in the dictionary).


But I'm off to go look at co-ops. Truth. Don't worry, not the ones where everyone only wears hemp and just drinks wine that they made in their backyard. Just ones where only some of the people do that.

We Are In Love, We Are At War. I Feed Myself, You Feed The Poor...

The Dodos - Men


So I was on YouTube and this was one of the Promoted Videos, and after seeing the title, I naturally had to watch it. For the first minute or so, I didn't find it funny at all. Sad story. But I toughed it out, and I'm terribly glad I did. Because I'm pretty sure it's hilarious.

Mind you, I'm super immature. Super super immature. So no promises.

And I Feel So Much Older Now, And You're Much Older Too...

Tom Waits - Martha

I don't care if people say they don't like him because they don't like his voice. Tom Waits is my boy, and this is a beautiful song. Kablammy.


So I just watched one of the most disturbing things ever on TV. It was the Modern Marvels episode on the History Channel about rats. Eeww. "Experts say that you're never more than 10 feet from a rat while in your home." What?!? No me gusta.

And I won't lie to you, some of those rats were, I hate to say it, oddly cute. Or, este. But others, the hairless variety for example, made me want to die a little. Okay, I actually think that one's kind of adorable. But the point is, there were a lot of gross ones.

So on the whole, if you see that that episode is going to be on, don't watch it. You'll hate yourself for it. True story.

Hey Hey, There You Go Baby, Dancing All Alone In Your Room. Trading Gossip With The Twilight Creeps, Killing The Flowers That Were Planted For You...

Crooked Fingers - Twilight Creeps

Now if you actually listen to these songs, you might recognize this guys voice from a song a while ago, which I claimed to be my new fav song ever, Man o' War by Eric Bachmann. That is, of course, because he's the lead singer of Crooked Fingers, a band I'm a fan of as well.


So it's time for a segment I think I'll call, "People That Are Way Way More Badass Than Me." Today's nominee is this fellow (at least I assume he was a guy, judging by the fact that he's clearly a dumbass), who decided to flee from the cops in his car after being pulled over. Understandable.

He is pulled over on a divided freeway, and decides, naturally, through skillful maneuvering, to pull back onto the freeway, and drive away in the wrong direction. No big deal.

He skillfully avoids the police that are coming from the opposite direction via the time-tested technique known as "driving straight and hoping they get out of the way." As you can see, it works for a minute or so before he loses control and smashes into an SUV, which owns his car.

But, again this man is a BADASS. He doesn't let the fact that he's missing most of the back of his car bother him. Or that one of his wheels is clearly perpendicular to the rest. Those are just silly details.

Unfortunately, as you can see, he soon crashes into a ditch. But look closesly. He never gives up! He continues to keep his foot on the gas despite the fact that his car obviously is not going to move. That's determination...and badassery.

I salute you good sir.

Do You Know What You Do? You Give Me Bruises...

Minipop - Ask Me A Question (you have to press the play button)


Wooooo! I totally got a few hours of sleep last night. Most amazing morning over. So refreshed. I could swim to Portugal. And back. No big deal.


So my amiga came over last night, and my roommates decided that it was time for them to make the whole situation super awkward. So naturally, they kept coming downstairs and starting up conversations with me: "you're right, she is way way cuter than you. I bet you guys won't hook up either." or "Oh, I'm sorry! Were you guys making out? I know that you said you guys might be, but I decided I should come say hi to her first."

Or, they'd just have incredibly unnecessarily loud conversations with each other upstairs: "no, he's totally into her, but she thinks he's kind of funny looking" (shit, that one's true). Or "Maybe I should go check to see if he has a condom."

I hate them.

Monica, Let's Make A Deal, If You Don't Smile That Way, I Won't Tell You How I Feel Today...

Readyville - Monica (you have to press the little play circle next to the song title)

I heard this song, and I loved it, so I'm sharing it with all of you. Sad to say, there's not a lot of information on Readyville out there. Wait for it, there's not even a Wikipedia article. It's like they don't even exist...

But again, I really really like this song. I've been listening to it on repeat for quite a while now. And I'll probably keep doing so for a while. No big deal. And as with all the songs I put up, if you like it, let me know, and I can email you more of their stuff. For example, I love their song "364 days," but I couldn't find it streaming anywhere.



It's time for a segment that I like to call "GAME TIME!" It's where we all, as a group, get pumped. Ready for it? Good shit.

Now tonight, we're getting pumped for...THE DAY AFTER VETERAN'S DAY!!! Wait for it. Let's think about all the great things that'll happen. We'll get twice as much mail! We can make deposits at the bank again! We can go back to not giving our veterans the respect they deserve!

Yes, it truly is going to be a great day. So lace up your shoes a little tighter, watch the training montage from Rocky, and get ready for...GAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

And I Wouldn't Give A Shit About Anything, 'Cause I'd Be Such A Big Movie Star. And That Don't Really Do Me Much Good, Just Cryin' At The Bar...

Goo Goo Dolls - James Dean

I've decided that early Goo Goo Dolls, like late 80's Goo Goo Dolls, is my favorite. For their first few albums, they were legitimately a garage band, and I like that. And this is one of my fav songs. True story. And I'm proud to say that I have their whole discography, so if you're curious and you'd like to listen to their early albums, let me know and I'll email them to you.


So I finished my Stats exam. It's anybody's guess how it went. I'm feeling pretty good about it, but I also keep forgetting how to open my box of tic tacs, so who knows. But in celebration of it being over, I just ate a jar of applesauce and watched two episodes of "Drake & Josh" on Nick, because I love that show. I can't help it. I realize it sucks...and yet it's glorious.

But now they're having an "iCarly" marathon, so off goes the TV, because that show sucks, and it's not glorious at all.


Perhaps I should study more for math, as I have an exam at 6, but I don't think it would really help. I feel as if I've done more than I should have already. So I'm currently starting my pre-exam pump-up period just a little bit early. Normally it just consists of listening to "Closing Time" by Semisonic a few times, but I guess today I'll have to step it up.

Maybe I'll invite the neighbors over and we'll have a dance party. If that doesn't get you excited, I don't know what does.


Oh, and my phone stopped working. Out of nowhere. I was walking to my exam, and I looked to see what time it was, and it wasn't on. When I went to turn it on, it wouldn't. And now it won't. Damn.


But naturally, I'm still pumped for life, because what happens today??? My weekly Food Network extravaganza with my amiga! (It's food-tastic!!) And it'll be magical.

And If You're All Done Like You Said You'd Be, Then What're You Doing Hanging Out With Me?

Elliott Smith - Whatever (Folk Song In C)


Haha honestly, if anyone has any magical sleeping techniques, give me a holla.

Where Has All The Love Gone, And What Have We Become? Storm Clouds Full Of Thunder Move Silent As They Drum...

Don McLean - Till Tomorrow


I think I should let you all in on something. I've become a total insomniac. Now I generally go by the rule that there's always something better to do than sleep, so I try to keep myself to no more than five hours a night. But this is by choice, or because I have work to do, not because I cannot sleep. This has all changed.

I just can't sleep anymore. I don't know what to do. But over the past three nights, I figured this out during football today, I've gotten just over five hours combined. About three hours three nights ago, and maybe one each of the past two nights. Now two nights ago, I was in a hotel, so maybe I just didn't sleep as well because it was an unfamiliar place. But as for last night, I'm at a loss. I'm barely functioning.

And it's not that I'm not trying. Last night I lay in bed for hours before I finally passed out sometime this morning. Alas, I had to wake up early to go to football.

But I am using this extra time to get in lots of studying, which is good, as I have two exams tomorrow. God damn. I hope I don't fall down on my way to them. Thank goodness tomorrow is my day off from football.


Anyhoo, I'm done whining. Well this might count as me whining, but this is the saddest shit of my life.


Oh, and I learned something about my age group today. Apparently, on the whole, we know nothing about motown. So at football today, our GA was singing "Stop In the Name of Love" by the Supremes. Here's the conversation that took place, with my own thoughts as on observer in italics.

GA: "Stop! In the name of love..."

oh Diana...

Student Trainer 1: "I love the Temptations!"

Wait, what?

GA: "um...but..."

ST2: "You dumbass. It's Aretha Franklin."

But...no...

ST1: "Oh right. Because the Four Seasons sang it." (I swear)

But Frankie is a boy too...

GA: "No, guys..."

ST3: "They just don't make music like that anymore."

DON'T YOU PEOPLE HEAR YOURSELVES?!?

(this is the part that killed me the most)

ST1: "I also love that one Supremes song. (singing:) Sugar pie honey bunch...I can't help myself."

GA: (walks away)


On the whole, I was honestly embarassed. I mean, really? It's as if they know a few motown groups, and a few songs, and just mix and match as they so choose.

No need to worry, I called them out on it eventually.

It Only Hurts When I Cry, I Only Cry Sometimes. When It Rains, When The Sun Shines...

Better Off Dad (Jaimee Harris) - Hurts


Rarely in life are there times when I find myself feeling proud of myself. I don't mean this in a depressing, my life is so sad sort of way. Rather, I feel as if I just don't do many things that where afterwards, I'm tempted to feel a little cocky.

However, one of these rare moments occurred last night. So I'm in the empty lobby of this hotel playing the piano. Then, slowly, people wandered in. Via skillful, covert glances, I noticed that none of these people were leaving. The only problem is that I only have so many songs memorized, so after a while, I just had to start making things up.

By the time I was finished, a few dozen people were in the lobby. Some of them were hotel employees (who apparently had nothing better to do?), and some were just random hotel guests. But when I stopped, every one (except for two people who I have decided are douchebags) of these people stood up and either came up to me or left. NO BIG DEAL. Whatevs.

One of the people that came up to me was a cop, and he was telling me how he used to work for a record label, and how if he still was, he would have "snatched [me] up in a second." He also thought that I was "clearly very creative and it really showed through [my] music." Again, whatevs.

But he went on to say that he still had lots of friends in the music business and he got some info from me to pass on to them. Granted, he might just be a serial killer and he has every intention of tracking me down and murdering me, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.

So if I become a rockstar, you can all say that you knew me before...

Eyes Seal Shut In A Slumber 'til We Hear Someone Mumble, "Could You Spare From The Tumbler, A New Drink For The Old Drunk..."

Crooked Fingers - New Drink For The Old Drunk


So I had a thought today. It's something that should have crossed my mind before, because I've no doubt seen it dozens and dozens of times. So I was at dinner tonight and there was a buffet of food: grilled chicken, pork tenderloin, chicken cordon blue, lasagna with meat sauce, etc.. But it's that last one that got me. with meat sauce.

Meat? What kind of meat? It's not like the other entrees were grilled meat, meat tenderloin, and meat cordon bleu. That would be ridiculous. So why is it acceptable for sauce to be simplified as simply meat sauce?

Is it squirrel? Mongoose? Emu? Llama? Pedestrian? Who knows??

I think someone should get to the bottom of this. ASAP.


Also, holy shit. Can 8 year-olds really premeditate something? Can they even plan what they want to eat for lunch?

Trouble, Oh Trouble Please Be Kind. I Don't Want No Fight, And I Haven't Got A Lot Of Time...

Cat Stevens - Trouble Elliott Smith Cover Eddie Vedder Cover


I don't know if you read a post a couple weeks ago about my friend who was diagnosed with cancer. Well apparently it's far worse than they expected and the doctors say she only has a couple weeks. So again, if you have any sort of religious beliefs, if you could throw out some prayers for her, that'd be great. Or, I mean, send over some happy vibes, if that's your thing. Thanks so much.

Close The Doors, Put Out The Light, You Know They Won't Be Home Tonight...

Led Zeppelin - No Quarter


I meant to tell you all!! Apparently, I'm good at math. Who knew?!? I got texted last night for help with math homework. ME! I hate math so so much. So so so so much. But that's okay, because apparently, I'm awesome at it. No big deal.

And I'm Reminded Every Time I See Your Face...

Lauryn Hill - To Zion


As I sit here eating the breakfast of champions (pop-tarts and apple juice), watching the tv show of champions (Doug), feeling soft and refreshed after using the Chap-Stick of champions (cherry), lying on the floor material of champions (uncomfortable, un-vacuumed green carpet), I say to myself, "maybe it was a mistake to wake up at 8 this morning, as I don't have class until 10:10." I was right. I've accomplished nothing.

I don't know what I had hoped to accomplish. Perhaps I thought I'd study, or perform charity work, or reshingle my roof. Probably study is the most likely of these, but still a long shot. Because I can tell you that when I wake up at 8 after going to bed at 4:30 (something I find myself doing fairly often), I'm not feeling the study. Damn.

But, in better news, as previously mentioned, I've done some major catching up on my childhood via Doug and the rest of the Funny family.

They're Tellin' All Of Us That We're Gonna Make It, But They Don't Tell Us How...

Morningwood - Body 21


Let me tell you all about one of the saddest, if not the saddest, moments of my life.

So last night was going amazingly. Obama was elected president. There was mass dancing in the streets. More seats in Congress turned blue. (p.s. Al Franken is currently 477 votes from being a Senator. AL FRANKEN. How baller would that be?) Some of the correct proposals were passing, though several ones were not, specifically in California, Florida and Arizona. Bastards.

So I walked to the liquor store for the second time that night, for the sole purpose of buying tic-tacs. So I go to the tic-tac area, right next to the counter, and what do I find? THERE ARE NO ORANGE TIC-TACS! WHAT?!? SONOFABITCH! (point for discussion: why are there even any other flavors? One only needs orange.)

I was forced to buy...(shudder)...wintergreen. Granted, this is the next best flavor, but it doesn't come close to orange. It made me want to cry.

Oh What Can It Mean To A Daydream Believer And A Homecoming Queen...

The Monkees - Daydream Believer


So I'm a happy boy. It's for real real. Not for play play. Hurray for Obama!

And McCain gave a bomb concession speech. And I liked it. That is all.

Them That's Got Shall Have, Them That's Not Shall Lose...

Billie Holiday - God Bless The Child


So I just got back from the polls. Now I'm not going to tell you who I voted for, but his name starts with a "B" and ends with a "ma." Oh and there's an "arack Oba" in the middle.

Nor will I tell you who I think you should vote for. But did you hear about what McCain did on Saturday? He punched a kitten in the face. He then took it away to one of his homes, and nobody knows what he did with it from there. I can only assume it went something like this.


So the rally last night was amazing. Jenni Granholm owned. She got me so so excited. And despite the fact that neither Debbie nor Carl gave speeches, they were still there, and it was baller. I was really hoping Carl would step up to the plate, but his name isn't as good for awkward chanting (Ca-rl! Ca-rl!). I did my darndest, but not may people joined in.

And per the usual, My Dear Disco is magical, and should be named the official White House band.

Also, Bob the Builder apparently was there, and I just missed him. Damn.


And now, I promise that after today, no more political posts. Fine, after tomorrow, no more political posts. Maybe once in a while, but clearly not this often. But last night, while watching the SNL Presidential Bash, my roommate gave me the first legitimate arguement for McCain that I've heard: SNL doesn't have anyone that's very good at impersonating Obama, but they've got McCain down. And while they do a pretty good Biden, Tina Fey and Palin are twins ("I'm gonna ignore that question, and instead talk about Israel!"). GOD DAMN TWINS.

So, you best all be voting today, no matter who you're voting for. But again, think of the kittens...

And The God Of Wine Is Crouched Down In My Room...

Third Eye Blind - God Of Wine


So I'm going to this Obama rally tonight, not so much because I'm trying to convince people to vote for Obama, because anybody that's going to be there is voting for him anyway. Really I'm going because Jennifer "Jenni With An I" Granholm, Debbie "'No, YOU'LL Never Get Elected Governor'" Stabenow, and Carl "Still Ballin'" Levin are speaking.

Also, My Dear Disco is playing, and I love them.

So anyhoo, waking up early to vote tomorrow. It'll be magical. That is all. I say good day.

Well You Didn't Wake Up This Morning Because You Didn't Go To Bed, You Were Watching The Whites Of Your Eyes Turn Red...

The The - This Is The Day


First, I'm going to go ahead and say that this is the worst music video of all time. Really, its only redeeming quality is awkward accordion-playing man.


Now I'm sure you've heard. Well I guess, you probably haven't. But perhaps...but no...no you haven't. Wait for it.

I've officially decided that I'm buying a denim jacket. It's going to be super hot. I recently discovered that there is quite a collection of them at the local Salvation Army, and as far as I can tell, they have remained untouched for several years.

Well they shall be untouched NO MORE!!

And I'm excited.

I Was Born To Lie Here Patiently, Be Dragged On By The Black Star, And You Were Told To Glow Magestically, And Love Until Your Hands Bleed...

Page France - Junkyard


So this morning, I'm working at the Big Ten Cross Country Championships. As a runner myself, I feel that I'm allowed to point out the fact that runners are the most over-dramatic of all athletes. I was the same way. We love to stumble and collapse.

Naturally, this meet was no different. Thus, my job. Basically I stood at the finish and caught the collapsing runners as they crossed the line, moved (read: dragged) them away from the finish, and helped them if they needed anything.

This was often more difficult than it sounds, especially with the guys. It wasn't too bad for me, because as a 6'5", not exhausted 19 year old boy, I was stronger than them. However, I don't know how well the female trainers fared. But often, I really had to pull them off, because they weren't really in the mood to be walking.

But thankfully, I avoided most of the flying vomit, so it was a success. Plus, for the most part, they were all super polite, and almost all of them thanked me as I left them, which was pretty adorable, as they could barely breathe (...gasp...tha...gasp...thank....gasp...ya...gasp...gasp...you...).

But again, it was a magical good time. Cheering for cross country runners is the best, because you can basically yell anything, so long as it sounds at least minorly encouraging: "GET SOME!" "THAT'S HOW WE DO! GET THERE!" and of course the classic "GET ON THAT ASS! THEN TAKE HIM!" Hurray for running!!

This Song Is The Cross That I Bear, Bear It With Me, Bear With Me, Bear With Me, Be With Me Tonight. I Know It Isn't Right, But Be With Me Tonight...

BNL - What A Good Boy


Here's the live version of the song, because it's better. No doubt.


Anyhoo. So tonight I had to find something else to dress up as, as I couldn't be a kangaroo twice in a row. So I stripped off all accessories from my baller corduroy suit, and taped on colored pieces of paper as sprinkles and went as a brownie. It was magical.


So scanning the news online today, two news items caught my attention:

First, eww.

Second, granted, this is terribly sad. But let's face it. It's also one of the most baller ways to die in history. He died immedietly after bowling a perfect game, while in the process of high-fiving someone. THAT'S SO BADASS!! No big deal.

But now, I must go sleep. I have to wake up in three hours to leave for Purdue. Dear God. Maybe I won't shower. That'll be hot...