And It's Not Like We're Never Gonna Fall, Just Not This Week...

Sungod Abscondo - Drunk On Me

First off, I think it's time for a DBG update. Per the usual, no closer than ever. Shitsticks.

Anyhoo, as I sit here in the library, yet again pouring over journal after journal about avulsion fractures of the anterior superior iliac spine (a topic that used to be so interesting...), I find myself wondering "why?" Well to be specific, my exact thought is "Dear God, why?!?"

And it was while I was in this self-pitying whiny whiny state that I came to a realization. Off-white is a terrible terrible color. This, of course, includes such variants as cream, eggshell, seashell, ivory, and naturally, Navajo white. They all suck.

Is there anything more depressing than sitting at a desk that is so plain, it can't even be white? It's as if the desk makers said to themselves, "let's make a brown desk. No wait, let's make it white. Or...gray? No. Let's make it almost white. That way, people will look at it, and be sad."

So now, as I'm sitting in a room filled with every possible shade of off-white taking various forms (ceiling, desk, floor, walls, oddly pale girl across from me, etc.), I feel the need to come up with some way to get excited.

Should I just get up and dance? No. Too cliched.

Perhaps..."answer" my phone and have a conversation with Johnny Depp? No, because what if he actually called while I was doing it. Boy would that be awkward and hard to disguise.

Clearly I'm failing at this. The thoughts rush through my head: impromtu Civil War re-enactment? A hoedown? Setting off the fire alarms? No! None of these will do!

Finally, I realize, it's time to bring out the big guns. It's time to gather up the people around me and have a Captain Planet huddle break!


Let our powers combine!
Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!
(together) Go Planet!


Yeah. That should do it.