And Like the Moon Doesn't Care if the Sun Doesn't Shine, the Sea Doesn't Care if You're Lonesome Tonight...

Eric Bachmann - Man o' War

First, listen to this song. Please. It's for your own good. I don't know how I only just now discovered it, but I've been spending every spare moment I have listening to it.


Now, it's time for a recurring segment I like to call "Self-Revelations!!"

I want to be in a musical. A major Broadway musical. And stop that, yes I realize I can't sing. I do not care. I want to stand up on the stage on belt out pure orgasmic beauty.

Everyone in the audience will ignore the fact that I cannot sing, because they will see that I'm trying hard, and they'll be too caught up in the story anyways, due to my mad acting skills. I don't think I need to remind anyone of my past theatrical triumphs (for example, my Freshman year of high school when a few of my friends and I made an epic re-make of Alive, featuring many state of the art special effects such as dramatically eating beef jerky peeled off the body of a prone friend, a la cannibalism. Needless to say, we got an A).

So if anyone knows of any openings on Broadway, give me a holla. I have my resume, head shots, and pseudonym ready. From now on, call me Buster McReallygoodlooking.