Now She's A Little Boy in Spain...

My mind is currently exploding with thoughts, some far lamer than others (for example, shouldn't the puller part of a zipper be the zipper, and rest should just be the zip?). I'm tempted to write elatedly about the firing of the Lions' epic loser of a GM, Matt Millen. I'd like to talk about how Lance Armstrong has come out of retirement (which I'm not sure I'm happy about) to ride for Johan Bruyneel and Team Astana. I'd like to talk about the fact that Tostito's tricks me into thinking I'm being healthy when I eat their Multigrain Tortilla Chips, while in fact for each 8 chips I consume, I also take in 70 calories from fat. Bastards.

However, none of these made the cut. I will instead choose to focus on the journey to self-discovery I took today. Now, I have always known that I'm an awkward person. Look at me. Its unavoidable. When you're 6'5" and weigh 162 pounds, you really have no choice but to be both physically and socially awkward. But I don't think I ever really understood to what extent.

It started right when I woke up. Here we go. So every night before I go to sleep, I set three alarms, located all over the room, in an effort to keep me from simply turning them off and going back to bed. However, as I don't trust myself, I set them to go off again 5 minutes later, and then 5 minutes after that, and so on for a half hour. So this morning, my alarms started blasting simultaneously at 9:00. I sleepily stumbled over and turned them off. The next thing I remember is standing in the middle of the room as they were going off. That's right. I fell asleep standing up. Perhaps I should have gone to sleep before 7:30.

I then proceeded to the coffee shop to get a mint hot chocolate. I noticed almost immediately that the girl in front of me had THIS tattooed on her neck.

Yes. She had a Rainbow Brite tattoo. Naturally, I say to her "your tattoo makes me so happy to be alive. It's magical. 'The most magnificent horse in the universe!'" She looked at me as if I had just said something so vile that I may have well just drop kicked a kitten out of a window. Who doesn't know the favorite saying of the horse she has tattooed on her neck? And who's offended by it?!?

Minutes later, after paying for my mint hot chocolate and getting my change, I went to put the change in the tip jar, and then put the bills in my pocket. However, I accidentally dropped all $2.85 in the tip jar, meaning that I was tipping 70 cents more than I paid for the hot chocolate. However, the super cute barista smiled at me and says "thanks so much!" So its not like I can go, "oh, I don't really appreciate you that much," and take it out, so I naturally instead opted to stumble over my words and come up with something like "the hot chocolate...er...you...um...I mean...it was real good service..." Dammit.

I then went to class, and before the prof came in, I was chatting with the people around me. It's a largeish lecture, so I don't know everyone in it, and I realized that I'd never met the person in the seat behind me. Now, this lecture hall is set up with the stadium seating approach, in the sense that each row is higher up than the one in front of it. So when I introduced myself and we shook hands, I of course slammed his arm against his table. He let out a gasp of pain and quickly let go, and after my apology, we opted to not talk for the rest of class.

Then I ran into someone as I was scootering to practice. There's not a lot of explanation needed.

Then, at practice, I was chatting with someone, and we were discussing how their friend is coming into town, and they weren't excited about it, because their friend is apparently a huge nerdo, and super awkward, and they don't want to go out and party with them. I then threw in "well I'm socially awkward, and yet I still go party." They of course responded with "oh no doubt. You're incredibly incredibly incredibly awkward. But you're really friendly which makes up for it." I got the trio o' incredibly's? The triple entene of incredibly? Por que??

And just now, as I was doing laundry, I somehow managed to put all my clothes in dryers, which I didn't notice until right after I started them, meaning that I just spent 6 dollars on NOTHING. Damnation.

Thus, in conclusion, I'm incredibly (cubed) socially awkward. Far more than I could have ever imagined. And, in all honesty, I'm totally okay with it. Hurray! Self-discovery!!!