She Said Don't Let Your Future Be Destoryed By My Past...

So here's the deal. I was talking to my friend about her sister's wedding (as you loyal readers may recall, I wrote the speech that she is delivering). This got me thinking. Wedding cake is real real good.

This led me to my next thought. While all wedding cake is good, not all cake is good.

This hurts me to say, but some cake blows. It blows hard. Take essentially any variety of cheesecake. They all suck. I think, in my entire life, I have enjoyed a single piece of cheesecake, and it was caramel cheesecake.

But look at marble cake, on the other hand, and you get pure orgasmic goodness in your mouth.

All these thoughts about cake led me to a more important thought. There are lots of things in life that are way better than other things in the same category. I'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense. Wait for it...here we go.

Take medical television shows, for example. At the top, we have Scrubs, ER, and House, and at the bottom we have Gray's Anatomy.

Or flavors of Laffy Taffy. Again, at the top are Strawbery, Green Apple, and Grape, and at the bottom is Banana.

But most importantly, and this is where this post is really headed, let's think about life decisions. On the list of personal life decisions I've made in the past few days, at the top are my decision to eat an entire box of Mini Wheats and drink a gallon of milk in the span of an hour a half, to hold a Mika dance party outside with a gathering of 18 or 20 strangers, to toy with my incredibly drunk roommate (aka asking him 13 times in the span of 10 minutes whether he'd done the dishes, without him catching on that he might be repeating himself: "Yeah...but I accidentally put liquid soap in the dishwasher."), and to wear shorts and a t-shirt to practice despite the fact that it was incredibly cold, thus forever sealing my badassery.

And, at the bottom of this list would be the decisions to try to insult one of the head Athletic Trainers with the same insult he dispensed on me except that I stumbled over my words (end result: "No, you're a sasshole!"), to drink the juice left in my can of pears because I already drank my gallon of milk (exact quote: "eew."), and, of course, to take a nap in the grass and take my shoes off (end result: stolen shoes). Granted, these were not my shoes per se. They had been given to me by my friend who never wore them, because he didnt like sandals. No harm done! Hurray!