What's The Use In Marigolds, These Flowers Are For You...

Ryan Adams - This Is It


I was just informed by FormerlyEmoFriend that she no longer needed me. She only had to read my blog. There was really no need to talk to me ever. Dammit!

My Friends Were Right All Along, But I Held On, I Held On...

Everly - She Walks By


Do you ever read news articles and just say to yourself, "wow, I think I already knew that. I didn't really need a reporter to tell me that." I know I do. Take, for example, this article, entitled "Virginity pledges don't mean much, study says."

Gigawhat?? A teenager saying that they aren't going to have sex doesn't really mean anything?? Thank you scientists! I thought it was iron-clad!! Sneaky bastards...


Oh, and time-out. I totally got my hair cut today. It was terrifying.

Let's keep in mind that the last time I got a haircut was almost two full years ago, so when she cut off my ponytail, she couldn't stop giggling, and I almost cried. Here, let me tell you the whole story.

So I make my friend come with me, because I knew that if he didn't I'd have never made it in the door (judging from the fact that I stopped at the front door, tried to turn around, and only went in because he kicked me in the shins, and vowed to continue until I "grew some balls").

So I finally made it in the door at one of the local schools of cosmetology, and went to the front desk, and the woman told me that while I should have made an appointment, I could probably be fit in. So we took a seat.

After a minute or two, I worked up the nerve to open my eyes and look about me, and I realized that every person getting their hair cut in this place was at least 75 years old. Yeah. Every person that was either having their hair cut or waiting to do so was an old person. I still don't know why this was. There was never any explanation. Perhaps it was the complimentary cans of Ensure handed out at the door...

But anyhoo, after the old people were attended to, one of the students came up to me and my friend and called my name. When I stood up, and smiled and cheered a little. Apparently she was excited to cut the hair of what appeared to be a yeti, as opposed to my clean cut amigo.

So she asks me what I would like to do with my hair ("I need to donate my ponytail, and then just make my hair not look like poop. But most importantly, I don't ever want to have to do anything with it past shampooing and conditioning"). She was super excited at the prospect of just cutting off my ponytail. Apparently one of the other students got to do so a few days ago, and she was terribly jealous.

But she seemed confident that she could meet my requests, and she hummed gaily as she went about putting my hair into a very tight ponytail. After she cut off the ponytail and tossed it on my lap, which was the creepiest event of my life, she went about dealing with the rest of my hair.
Let me tell you, this girl was a master. Plus, she was a total baller. We talked about everything. At one point, we got on the topic of NERF guns. No, I don't know how. We both also discussed our families, and at one point, GayRoommate came up, as I was telling her why the faux-hawk is the worst hairstyle ever. "He can only get away with it because he's gay." (Just for the record, she totally agreed: "You're right. Gays only.")

By about halfway through the haircut, most of the other students had finished their people, and we were apparently nearing closing time, so they started gathering around my seat, along with all the instructors. Occasionally they'd throw out helpful tidbits of information:

"Wow, you're gonna be cold."

"Look at that pile of hair!"

and my favorite, "Get there son!"

But she finished off, and then said to me, "I think I'm going to tussle it."

"Lauren," I say, "girl please! You said I wouldn't have to do anything with it!"

"This will take two seconds."

"I don't have that kind of time in the morning!"

"Are you serious right now? TWO SECONDS."

"Dammit! Fine! But I'm going to have to take back the months of ridicule that I've given to my roommate for gelling his hair every morning!"

So she proceeded professionally tussled my hair. Though it took her roughly 14 seconds, so I'm pretty sure that's what we call a lie, miss Lauren.

But I was okay with it. Because I honestly really like my haircut. So I told her that I'd have to come back to her next time I needed a haircut, but she informed me that she would only be working there until the end of April, at which point she would graduate and move on to a different salon. So I told her that I'd just have to come see her before then, and figure out where she was going to, so I could find her next time.

So she made sure I had her full name, so I could request her for next time, and I thanked her and went on my way.

Fin.


And that's the story of my haircut. Huzzah!

She Stood Alone On Her Balcony...

Goo Goo Dolls - American Girl

Yes, this is indeed a Tom Petty cover. I love the original, but I'm a fan of this one too. But that may just be because I have an unhealthy obsession with the Goo Goo Dolls.


So my band came back from it's state of temporary hiatus and practiced tonight. It was the first time in months and months. It was magical. You see, the problem is that we all go to different colleges, thus making it more difficult for us to get together.

But we played some new songs that we've each been writing on our own, and then we played some of our old stuff. The only problem with that is that for a couple songs, we couldn't figure out how they went anymore, and we had to go back to our CD and listen to it to figure out how to play them again. Embarrassing. But what can you do? We had too many new songs to worry about past ones! We live in the now!

But it was magical to get together again. We only got distracted playing Guitar Hero: World Tour a few times. I ended up having to play bass, as there's no keyboard in the game. But luckily we don't have a bassist, so it worked out for the best. And in case you're wondering why we don't have a bassist...I don't know. We run through them like nobody's business. At last count, I believe we've had 93845 in the past four years, and none of them stick. So we've decided we don't need one.

Besides, all the good bands don't have bassists right? I mean, the Beatles...shit, Paul. Well, the Who? Oh wait, John. Well what about Led Zeppelin! Nope, nevermind. John Paul. Bruce Springsteen has Garry, Queen had John, Tilly and the Wall has Kianna, the Decemberists have Nate...DAMMIT! Apparently we need a bassist!

Anyone play?

I Best Tidy Up My Head...

Adele - Melt My Heart To Stone


So Christmas has come and gone, and it was as magical as ever.

While Regina did not show up under the tree, I did get a couple of posters of her, and of course, she's looking gorgeous.

Also, ObnoxiouslyHappySister got me two tiny little fish (which I have since dubbed Dequarvain and Miss Mary Ann), along with a tank and supplies to take care of them. I'm super pumped.

And FavoriteSister got me a few CD's, hand chosen for my personal music taste (meaning one of them was chosen "because big stupid girls like it." Damn. I should never have told her about my love of Ingrid Michaelson). She's such a good sister.


But I'm honestly a big believer that Christmas is way better than just presents. Don't get me wrong. Presents are great. But really my favorite part is just the whole atmosphere of happiness and shit surrounding it. People are just happy. Even unhappy people try to fake it usually. It's great!

So really, I'm in favor of the way that the "Christmas season" has started happening sooner and sooner. For example, when I was shopping for Halloween decorations in October, and there was already more Christmas stuff than Halloween stuff. But I figure the sooner Christmas starts, the sooner people have to start being happy. So from now on, I think that the Christmas season should start March 1.

We get two months off. That's plenty.

So Rock Me Mama Like A Wagon Wheel, Rock Me Mama Any Way You Feel...

Old Crow Medicine Show - Wagon Wheel

Well this is an OCMS song, but the chorus is taken from the Bob Dylan song "Rock Me Mama." Also, there's a few covers of it, but none of them are as good. But if you know my fascination with Against Me!, then you know why I have to include their take on it.


Anyhoo, I hope that everyone has a magical Christmas, slash magical whatever holiday you like to celebrate.

As for me, I'm fairly certain that FavoriteSister got a hold of Regina, and she's going to be at my front door tomorrow. And I'm excited.

I Try And Comprehend You But I Got A Dyslexic Heart...

Paul Westerberg - Dyslexic Heart


So I finished my Christmas shopping today. I thought I had finished on Saturday, but last night I was hanging out with my friend when she mentioned that she bought my Christmas present. "Shit," I thought, "I didn't buy her a present."

Thus the shopping today.

So I bought her Love Actually, because I love that movie. And I'm clearly not going to buy someone a movie that I don't love, hence the reason that over the years I've bought Rocky for 4 different people.


Also, would a Sham Wow not be the best present ever?

I'd Be A Better Person On The Other Side I'm Sure...

Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident


So I watched About A Boy tonight (hence the Badly Drawn Boy song) with ExGirlfriendButWe'reStillAwesomeFriends, and I loved it, as I have every other time I watched it. I walked over to her house to watch it, both because it's a winter wonderland, and I didn't feel like driving through the ice and snow. Plus it's only like a 25 minute walk.

Anyhoo, at about 1:45, EGBWSAF's mother comes into the basement and says that she'd prefer if her daughter didn't drive me home, but if I wanted, I could drive her car home and they'd just come get it sometime tomorrow, or I could just crash there. First off, how does this make EGBWSAF feel? Her parents would prefer one of her friend's driving her car to her driving it. Bam! It's probably because she's a woman, aka a poor driver (I swear I'm kidding. Please don't be angry).

But I decided I didn't want to deal with having to get the car back to them. Plus, it's not like I'm on their insurance, and if, through some horrible series of events, I crashed the car, I'd be screwed. That's where FavoriteSister came in. After some prodding, I convinced her to come get me. That's why I love her.


Also, how much would this suck? Plus, how do you explain that to family members? "Sorry Grandma, you can't come over this year for Christmas. We've been overrun by sludge."


Oh, and happy birthday to Robin, my favorite person ever to come out of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Pack Your Bags And Run Away...

The Transit War - Kerosene


There comes a day (Tuesday) in everyone's lives when they realize that, perhaps, they have found their true calling. For me, that day was today (You see? Tuesday).

I think I'm destined to point out people's flaws to them. Not in a mean, mocking way, but more in a "look, you're an idiot, but you're fixable!" sort of way.

Take, for example, this man. I could say to him, "wow sir, you really didn't think that one through. Flamethrowers aren't for use near your house, or place of residence," and he'd say, "thank you stranger! I'm a better person now!" No need for thanks good sir. All in a day's work.

Or, this exact conversation that has taken place over Facebook between two kids from my former high school, between November 20th and December 15th:

ConfusedBoy: "i love you"
ConfusedGirl: "love you too"
CB: "i l,ove you baby"
CG: "love you too"
CB: "hey"
CG: "I love you"
CB: "i lvoe you baby!"
CG: "love you more"

Thats right. For nearly a month, this boyfriend and girlfriend wrote on each other's Facebook walls, saying nothing but "i love you," and other variants.

Now, I understand, they're just confused. They don't really love each other. At least I can't imagine that they actually do. So to them I could say, "hey, you guys have a lot of life in front of you. Quit thinking you're in love. You're 16." And they'd say back, "shut up. We are in love." And I'd give up.


Also. Side-note. I was out shoveling this morning, and I didn't have to dig out anyone that had gotten stuck in the intersection by our house. Last time it snowed, a few days ago, three people got stuck and needed help. So today was a little disappointing.

Control Yourself, Take Only What You Need From It. A Family Of Trees Wanting, To Be Haunted...

MGMT - Kids

Okay, this song has just been in my head all day. I don't care that MGMT pissed off the entire indie community, their songs are good. And so god damn catchy.

Also, listen to the Kooks cover of "Kids." I like that too. Not as much as I like some of their other stuff, but it's still pretty baller.


Okay, so I go to my Yahoo homepage, and I don't think a headline has ever caught my attention more than this one: "Lesbian's brutal gang rape investigated in Calif." It has the words "lesbian," "brutal" and "gang rape." All solid attention grabbers. Whoever wrote this headline should be promoted, and given some sort of bonus.

I then read the article, which was about the most horrible shit of my life. It's this kind of thing that makes it harder to keep up an attitude of overall trust in the human race. Because it's ridiculous, and it upsets me.

But then I read an article like this, and while I admittedly am terrified of clowns, it still makes me smile. Thus bringing about the restoration of my faith in humanity.

And then I read this, which I like to think was posted purely to give me hope for my 0-15, soon to be 1-15 (knock on wood!) Lions. Thank you Sports Illustrated. Do I smell a perfect season in 2009??

A Pair Of Mittens That Were Made By Your Mother...

Muppets Christmas Carol - It Feels Like Christmas

So tonight, I watched The Muppets Christmas Carol with my amiga, as has become our holiday tradition over the past few years. And as usual, this song was our favorite part. What you really need to do is watch the clip, and just start it at 3:43. Because nothing makes you happier than seeing Michael Caine do a little shimmy with a giant muppet.

Naturally, we had to watch this part over a dozen times, as we do every year. And it was more hilarious each time.

Also. Is it wrong that every time I see Michael Caine, I think not of The Cider House Rules, or Little Voice, or The Man Who Would Be King, or The Dark Night. No, I think of the song by Madness. And it isn't even a good song. Really, it's a shitty song. And yet...I kind of love it.

The Epitome Of Cool, In Retrospect...

Sarah Donner - Dodgeball

I love Sarah Donner. She's such a baller. Her album is called Reluctant Cat Lady, and if that isn't enough to love her, I don't know what you want. But she's awkward, and I'm a fan.


So I was slated to watch Love Actually (aka the greatest Christmas movie ever) tonight with my amiga, but for some reason it had to be rescheduled until tomorrow, which was a little heartbreaking, but I suppose I'll survive. It just meant that I had to switch my High School Musical marathon with my other friend to tonight. So, I mean, it all worked out in the end.


But I have to keep my schedule clear for Tuesday afternoon. "Why," you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Because I'm going to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert. I'm super pumped. My friend texted me yesterday to ask if I wanted to go, and I had to inform her that I wanted to desperately, but I was far too poor, so I wouldn't be able to.

She called back a couple hours later to tell me that she didn't care what I said, she just purchased two tickets, and I was going. I suppose I wasn't in a position to argue. I guess I'll just have to pay her back via transference of awesomeness from me to her. I obviously have plenty to go around.

So I'm stoked.

And Maybe I Won't Keep Fighting Constantly, For Inconsistency, I'm Waiting...

Molly Marlette - Constantly

Molly is my girl.


Anyhoo. So I've come to this conclusion about myself. A realization, if I may. A self-realization, if I, again, may. Meeting people is my fav. I think I would rather go meet a new person than hang out with a bunch of my friends. Even if I don't really like this new person that I meet, I just like meeting lots of people.

For example, when I was scheduling classes for next year, I purposely didn't schedule a certain time for my English 225 class, because I knew that one of my friends was in it. I mean, English classes only have 18 people, and I'm not going to purposely go into one where I already know someone in it.

And I mean, if one of my friends just happens to be in it with me, well I won't complain. But I'm not going to go looking for that.

Or take one of my friends. She's spending Christmas break in Florida, where none of her friends are. To me, that would be epic. There's so many new people to meet. You'd have no choice. Clearly she's not going to spend her break desperately lonely, so she's going to go make new friends. I'm terribly jealous.

But whatever. My self-realizations are super lame. I have a story (though it too is probably equally lame).


So I'm visiting my friend in the hospital. She had some horribly invasive surgery on her intestines, and she had a nasogastric intubation, aka a tube that went into her nose and down to her stomach.

I mentioned this to my father, which was his cue to show me a link to these pictures. Naturally, I showed them to my friend in the hospital. She was not amused. Apparently she didn't find the thought of the tube being accidentally inserted into her brain very appealing.

And Your Face Looked Like Something Death Brought With Him In His Suitcase...

Warren Zevon - The French Inhaler

Now this a song that I'm not a big fan of, but I love the live version. Hence, the link to the live version. I'm a thinker. But really, I feel as if the live version should just start at about the 2:10 point in the song. Really, the 2:45 point. Because from then on is so so epic. I wish I knew what it meant ("So long, Norman?").


So I'm home for break. And it's nice to be home. Relaxing. Plus, I met someone tonight, and I may very well love her. This doesn't throw off my plans for marrying Regina, of course. Those are still intact. But still...I love her...

I don't know what exactly it is that I love about her. I was with my friend and her friend, baking Christmas cookies, and then for a very brief time a couple more of her friend's friends' were suddenly in my life, and one of them is my new love in life.

I probably shouldn't tell her that. It might scare her off...

Sing Real Soft...

Jaimee Harris - Lucky


So we had our 3,500th visitor. That honor goes to our favorite reader out of Ashland City, Tennessee. For those of you that don't know much about Ashland City (which included myself, prior to a very insightful Wikipedia sesh), get ready to be informed of some of the city's highlights:

A major landmark is Sydney's Bluff, which was supposedly named for a girl who was fleeing a group of Native Americans and fell off of said bluff. That's right. She decided that it was better so simply fall to her death than be captured. That's the most badass landmark naming story ever.

For every 100 females 18 or older, there's a mere 93.6 males. Yup. That's a ratio I can work with.

Last but not least, and this info comes from the city's official website, the city has five official boards. Naturally, there are boring ones (Budget Committee, Ashland City Regional Planning and Zoning Commission, etc.). But there's also the Ashland City Beer Board, which deals with, well, alcohol, and that makes me smile. This is a board I can get behind. And not just because it's sole responsibility is hooch. But more because the site states that "meetings are held when necessary." No more bi-monthly wastes of time. Only meet when necessary. I like that.


Oh, and this kind of makes me giggle, our 3,5001st reader came out of Grand Rapids. Missed by one spot again.

No, No, I'm Not Scared...

Diego - Fan City


So I've watched this video dozens of times in the past day, and I might just keep watching it. The description is right, it is indeed the worst faceplant I've ever seen.


Also, you have to remember to vote for Jaimee M. Harris on Ourstage.com in the Singer/Songwriter (female) category. She's currently #6 and needs to stay up there until the 25th, when the quarterfinals start. She then has to stay up there until the semifinals, at which point she needs to get up to #1. Which would be magical.


Oh, and exciting news, my friend called about an hour ago to apologize. She felt real bad, which made me happy. How happy? Even happier than I felt getting an email from RunnersWorld.com instructing me HOW TO TIE MY SHOES. Yeah. Really.

But good news, as it turns out, I have indeed been tying the correct, "reef knot," as opposed to the incorrect, "granny knot." Though I do tie my shoes in a totally different fashion, aka, like a baller. Though I'm fairly certain ObnoxiouslyHappySister ties them the same way I do, so I suppose even non-ballers use the baller method sometimes. But not me. I'm still a baller.


So I go home tomorrow. That should be a wild good time. I was telling my roommate from last year about it, and as he's Jewish, and I'm a gentile, he got excited at the thought of me going home for Christmas:

"Are you going to eat ham?!? And carol?!? And eat ham?!? And decorate a tree?!? AND EAT HAM?!?"

"Dude, we're gentiles. Of course we're doing all of those things. Especially the ham part."

"Yes! You gentiles LOVE your ham!"

"That we do."


That we do.

Come On Baby Girl, Let Me See Those Legs...

Ben Kweller - Penny On The Train Track

So I feel as if you should all go to http://www.everydayjoes.org/littlechild, and download the album that they're offering as a free download. It's good shit. I'm a fan of it. It's mostly pretty mellow rock, mixed with a little bit of folk or folk rock. Not all the songs are good, but I especially like the song "Sun Goes Down On The City," by Andrea Ball. I was going to have that as the song of the day today, but I couldn't find it streaming anywhere online, so I didn't. I instead opted for this Ben Kweller song, which doesn't actually appear on the album. I don't know what I was thinking.

But anyhoo, then if you like it, you can always feel free to click where it says "donate," and help them continue to book shows and record compilations such as this one. Granted, for most of you, whether or not a coffee shop in Colorado can book quality shows is probably of little import to you, but still.

But again, that's only if you like the album. But I feel as if you will.

And The Fires You've Been Chasing Down Now Are All Gone...

Basia Bulat - In the Night


So there's few things in life that I really really hate: Kevin Costner, the boy who was a dick to me in grade school (who shall remain unnamed, BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), Nickelback, and feeling like I'm a sixth grade girl fighting with someone that she'll refer to as her "ex-friend" when she talks to her friends.

That last one is where I'm currently at. Remember the girl who called me a half-friend? I refer you to a prior post from earlier this month. So I've spent the last week or so wondering when this girl is going to apologize, or at least contact me and explain what the dealio is. Now she never did so.

Up until today, that is. So this evening, I receive a text from her. I get all excited, because she's finally telling me what happened. Then I read the text. Here it is in its entirety:

"thnx for nnthing asrhole"

I've yet to text her back. I don't know if I should. The only problem with not responding is that it means that for the first time in my life, I'll be totally giving up on a friend. I don't like the thought of that, but seriously, what can I do?

So I mean, I'm sure I'm going to give in and text her back, probably within the next hour or so, just to try and figure out what exactly I did. Because even if it wasn't something that I actually did, something happened to set her off, and I no longer think it was just the stress of her situation, as previously thought. Because it's been well over a week, and she's still pissed.

So I'm going to have to figure out what it is. And shit, it better be good.

Do The D.A.N.C.E., 1234 Fight!

Justice - D.A.N.C.E.


I just wanted to remind all of you to go to Ourstage.com and go to the Singer/Songwriter (Female) category and judge songs, and vote for Jaimee M. Harris and her song "Fix Myself." She's powered into the top 10, and winning would be a giant deal. But she has to stay up there for the rest of the month so as to make the semi-finals, and then hopefully the finals.

But again, she's super magical, and should win. And that's that. Gracias.

I Take The Blue Ones Every Time...

Joshua Radin - Closer

I'm a fan of this song. Really I'm a fan of Joshua "Joshy" Radin as a whole, and if you want his albums, let me know. Also, this music video was directed by Zach Braff, which makes it way cooler. I don't know if you know how I feel about Scrubs, but it makes me happy to be alive.


Speaking of being happy to be alive. I'm currently done for the semester. NO BIG DEAL. I got out of my practical today and did a little dance.

I had to go to football and get some papers signed, but now I'm totally finished. I don't know what to do with myself. Really, I do know what I want to do. I want to go out to lunch tomorrow. I haven't gotten to do that in forever and a day, and I'm going to, and it's going to be magical.


And that's not the only excitement of the day. Well, I mean, I suppose it's related. You see, I'm the only person in my apartment who's totally done. Here's the exchange currently going on between TallRoommate, who has a Physics exam still, and ShortRoommate, who still has a 10 page paper to write:

TR: yelling to the floor below "Fuck, I wish I didn't have to take this, and I could just write a paper!"

SR: yelling to the second floor "Shit, I'd rather take 4 exams than write this paper!"

TR: "I don't know what kind of exams you're taking, but a paper is so much easier!"

SR: "All you have to do is fill in bubbles! How hard is that!?"

TR: "All you have to do is put words together! Small children can do that!"

I think it's time for me to step in. Wait for it.

SR + TR tigether: "GO KILL YOURSELF!"


Apparently they didn't like me reminding them that I'm already done...

And Said, "This Will All Have To Come Undone..."

Missy Higgins - Scar


Here's the opening sentence to a chapter in my Stats book:
"When a sample is drawn from a population with a known or estimated mean (m) and standard deviation (σ), the probability (or odds) that the mean of randomly drawn sample (X-bar) will lie within certain limits of m can be determined."

I'm sure this sentence makes sense. I just can't figure it out. As far as I can tell, they said a bunch of random statistical words, and added "can be determined" to make it a sentence.


Also, they spend 6 pages discussing the significance of F, but they never say what the fuck F is. Goodness gracious.

The Rest Of Life Pales In Significance, I'm Looking For Someone With Whom To Dance...

The Magnetic Fields - With Whom To Dance


So yesterday was my last day at football. I won't lie to you, it's gotten to the point that I'm very tired all the time, and I was super super pumped that it finally ended. The last week or so there, we've been doing essentially nothing. There's been no reason for us to be there. I taped a few people, and handed out some ice, but did nothing a trained monkey couldn't do.

But I just got my clinical assignment for next semester. I'll be working women's gymnastics and women's crew. I hate to say that these are two sports I know very little about. Football, yes. Gymnastics? Crew? No. But I'm super excited, and I guess I'll figure it out as I go.


But that's not the point of this post. So I have three exams today, two of which have already occured this morning. So naturally I spent all of last night studying. So I'm in the library, and I see one of my friends, so (obviously) I choose to whip my pen at him. As I'm what we call "uncoordinated," and "unskilled," and "an idiot," I missed terribly, and it went flying across the library.

"Shit," I say, as I get up to chase after it. So I warn the girl who's chair it's under to not be too creeped out as I bend down under her. It was a little awkward. And then as I'm walking back, I see some girl laughing at me. Gigawhat??

So I say to her, "oh girl please, what're you laughing at?"

"That you just looked like an idiot in front of a bunch of people."

"Oh, right. Good thing they're strangers, and I'll probably never see them again."

"You really think people are just going to forget you? And everytime people see you on the street, they're going to think of this moment."

"Damn. You're right. Let's be friends."


So point of the story, I made a new friend. But I don't remember her name. Shit. So perhaps, that was both the hopeful beginning and crushing end of our friendship. But I suppose what can you do?

Found It, God, And Begged Him, Fight Your Body Back...

Land Of Talk - Some Are Lakes

So I'm just going to go ahead and say that this story is totally false. Basically, what they're saying is that a deer jumped through a window, walked through a classroom, kicked a child in the head, and then jumped out of the same window and disappeared. Really? Because I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen.

I'm fairly certain that kid was hurt in some awkward way, and the teacher panicked. "Hold on kids! Here's what happened! So there was this deer..."

I Have A Hard Time Opening My Eyes Underwater...

Jon Lajoie - Everyday Normal Guy 2

Okay my roommates and I were listening to this man, and we found it hilarious. I'm sorry. But warning, it is a bit vulger. But he's basically taking everything that a rapper would say, and saying the opposite, and it's great. But this is not the best one.

That title clearly belongs to "Show Me Your Genitals," which is far far more offensive. But if you can take the sexism and vulgarity in stride, it honestly is incredibly funny. Far funnier than "Everyday Normal Guy" or its sequal. So if you won't take it too seriously, please watch the second one. It'll make you giggle a lot. But you have to watch it to the end, and actually watch the video, don't just listen to it. His dancing makes it.

He Acquired These Things From A Life Of Crime, Now He's Selling Them To Raise His Bail, He Was Rippin' Off The People...

Neil Young - Ordinary People Part 2

This is an 18 minute song, so there's two parts. And I understand that 18 minutes is a bit of an undertaking, but if you have the time, and you haven't heard this song, you need to listen to it. It's easily one of my favorite Neil Young songs. It's from his most recent studio album, Chrome Dreams II, but it was originally recorded for an album in the late 80's, but they didn't include it then, because it's hard to sell an 18 minute song. But I love it, and if you like it, and you'd like the album, let me know.

So I just thought I'd let all of you know, in case for some reason you were wondering, I just killed my first anatomy exam. Made it my bitch. I said, "hey exam, I'ma make you my bitch." And then I did. And it was magical. And clearly I had no choice but to include that picture. Tinkerbell is being a little ho!

So I was owning it, which meant I finished it pretty fast, leaving me time to go back and look over it. When I turned it in, I was maybe the third person to do so, and the prof says to me, "that was pretty fast." So I get kind of flustered.

"But...um...you didn't say that for the other people..."

He tried to defend himself. "No, I meant it as a good thing. I think it probably means you did well."

So apparently I'm just paranoid (and I'm a Black Sabbath fan). But it was too late to back down and agree with him. I had to take a stand. "Well Brian, I still think you're a jerkface." Victory!!


We then had a joint giggle session, and yes, it was indeed as schoolgirlish as it sounds.

In 48 Hours, My Thoughts'll Transcend, The Line Between Loving And Losing A Friend

Good Luck Joes - 48 Hours

Interesting tidbit, this song is written about the sister of one of my roommates from last year. Truth.


So there's been some issues brought to my attention regarding last night's post. Specifically, how the stranger on the bus was interpreting my comments about his sparkly sparkly face. Now, I was merely trying to tell him that I liked it.

However, other people see it different ways, and I've been told by someone that perhaps he interpreted it as me coming on to him. Now first off, this boy was not gay. I pride myself on my prime gaydar, and it wasn't going off at all. Also, I'm not gay either, thus meaning homosexuality was not involved here. I discussed it with several of my gay friends, including GayRoommate, and none of them thought that they would view it as a come on.

What was decided, however, is that one of two things was happening. One, the situation I presented earlier, where he was making out with a girl and caught some of her sparkles. Two, he was totally aware of his sparkly face, and he was just screwing with me to see how I'd react.

Either one is totally reasonable I do believe.


Also, this makes me super sad. Now this is clearly not news. We knew about this long ago. But every reminder of it is still heartbreaking. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm incredibly sentimental. I've been known to hang on to pieces of refuse (gun wrappers, pieces of paper, popsicle sticks) because they mean something to me, and I can't bear to throw them away.

So seeing something like Polaroids disappear is terribly sad for me. Plus, some of my favorite pictures in my possession are Polaroids. They simply look way cooler. There's no denying it. So I kind of want to cry. Don't judge me.

Has It Always Been This Way? Is It Possible All This Magic Went Unnoticed...

Regina Spektor - Reading Time With Pickle

I realized I hadn't had a Regina (aka my bride-to-be) song in a very long time, so here we go. Regina is one where if you like her, I can be very helpful. I've strived to own every song that has ever been recorded which features her voice, whether on an album or a bootlegged live song. I feel as if I've succeeded. So I've got a lot to offer.


So here I am at the library, taking a break from studying. Because I hate it. Plus, I own it. What's that pronator teres? I can't hear you. You originate at the medial epicondyle of the humerus and the coronoid process? And you insert on the middle of the lateral surface of the radius? You're innervated by the median nerve? And you pronate the forearm? Yeah, that's what I thought, bitch.


But I'm studying at the library on North Campus, because it's simply a far superior library. I'm fairly certain it makes me smarter, just being in the building. Maybe not, but I like to think so. But it's the bus ride over that I'd like to discuss.

So I get on and sit down, and I'm chillaxing as the bus starts to pull away. I look across the aisle, and I notice that the boy sitting across from me has sparkles all over his face, like what you would expect if one were wearing sparkly eye shadow, and the sparkles kind of fell down one's face throughout the day.

Now generally I notice this on girls, so on this boy it was a fun little surprise. So I say to him, "I like that your face is super sparkly."

"What?" You see, I had assumed that he was aware of his sparkles.

"Um...your...your face...it's sparkly. Shimmery really."

"What are you talking about?"

"YOUR FACE HAS SPARKLES ON IT!"

"Well I don't know how they could have gotten there...are you sure?"

It was at this point that I decided I would never convince him. "Wait, no, nevermind. It was just the way the light was on your face."

oddly upset "Yeah, that's what I figured."


Now I promise you, this boy had sparkles on his face. A badunk-load of sparkles, ALL UP ON HIS FACE. Those didn't just get there via rogue sparkle flying through the air that happened to miraculously adhere itself on his face. They got there because they were forced to go there.

I don't know if this occured because he himself put on sparkly eye shadow though. It seems that if he's comfortable enough to put on sparkly eye shadow, he'd be comfortable enough to be open about it. So I'm assuming that he was making out with a girl who had eye shadow on, and some of it rubbed off on him.

But anyhoo, I'm hoping he was off to some sort of manly activity (drinking with his frat buddies, rugby practice, bear hunting, etc.), because his face was sparkletastic, and that would make me giggle.

There Were Plants And Birds And Rocks And Things...

A Human - Horse With No Name

Why yes, this is indeed a cover of America's "A Horse With No Name," one of the stupidest songs ever written. And don't get me wrong. I love the band America. Their song "Don't Cross the River," epic. "A Horse With No Name," stupid. Which is what makes me like this cover. As usual, if you'd like the CD, let me know.


So this post is to remind you that you should be making your monthly rounds of ourstage.com, go to the Singer/Songwriter (Female) category and judge the songs, and if you get to Jaimee M. Harris and her song "Fix Myself," vote for her. Gracias. A lot.

And This Is The Epitome Of Everything You See In The Movies...

The Spill Canvas - Saved (acoustic)

So this song is in honor of FavoriteUConnStudent, because she loves her some Spill Canvas. But this song is an acoustic version of a song that they had on an earlier album. But the original featured Andrew McMahon of Something Corporate, and if you know me, you know that Something Corporate is my little guilty pleasure. I love them. I can't help myself.

But anyhoo, as usual, if you want the newest Spill Canvas EP, let me know.


So I was super lame tonight. Truth. It was upsetting. I studied and watched Boston Legal with the roommates. But it was during this time that I had another revelation. I've been having a lot of these lately.

This occured when I was taking a study break and walked to the store for some chocolate milk. Now I have a super handy liquer store about 18 seconds from my house, but I instead walked 5 minutes to a far less handy store. Both sell the same chomoo for roughly the same price (the close one is 9 cents more expensive). There's no reason to go the farther away one.

Except that every once in a long while (once in every 10 times or so), I have an epic conversation with my favorite cashier. Last time it was about what would happen if N'Sync, BSB, and 98 Degrees joined together and formed the ultimate boy band (it would be epic. Think Wu-Tang Clan, but for white people). Oh, and Marky Mark would be in it too, but not the rest of the Funky Bunch, because they blow.

This is when I had my revelation. I love talking about useless shit more than anyone I know. I once had a very long (aka it took the entire hour long drive to another college) conversation with my friend about what would happen if we managed to conceal a cat inside of a monkey (final decision: it would be real gross, but also super impressive). There was something that initiated this conversation, I promise. But still.

But that's just one of many examples. And the fact that I would walk 10 times longer in the snow, purely because there's a possibility that I could have an epic convo is probably a problem. And I should talk to someone about it. But that would no doubt end with us talking about how we could solve problems in the Middle East via ping pong balls and peanut butter (which we totally could. I have a theory).

So really what it comes down to is that I like to talk. Revelation of the day.

I Can't Stand To Fly...You Finally Find, You And I Collide...

Norwegian Recycling - How 6 Songs Collide

Now if you haven't listened to Norwegian Recycling, shame on you. Granted, I just love mash-ups, but he's super good. So "How 6 Songs Collide" is his most popular, but I'm a fan of "Sorry For I Mashed You," "No Taylor, No Scar," and "Hey Oh Tonight." And as usual, I have his albums if you'd like them.

But at least listen to all of "How 6 Songs Collide." Especially you, ObnoxiouslyHappySister. Because I know you'll love it. And once you start listening to them, you won't be able to stop. You know when you start smoking crack? It's like that.

I'm currently keeping GayRoommate awake making him listen to them. But I don't really know if it counts as making him, because he stopped complaining a minute into the first song, and when I was going to stop a few songs ago, he says "you know, I guess it doesn't bother me that much." He's currently sitting up in bed, swaying.


Oh, and so for the first time since July, not counting last weekend, when I was home for Thanksgiving, I will not have football on a Saturday. I don't know what I'll do with myself. I'll have so much free time. It'll be ridiculous.


So tonight, I'm sitting in the library. I get bored with studying, so I take a break, and I'm writing a song in my Moleskine that I was semi-thinking about all day. After I'm writing for a couple minutes, I set it down, and the the girl sitting next to me in my little cubicle dealio says to me, "can I read your poem?"

I didn't really know what to say. I mean, it would go against so many things. For one, I almost never show people my songs (plus, she called it a poem...what does she think I am? An english major?). Also, I never show people my songs when I'm not finished with them yet. But then again, I've never had a stranger ask to read one. I was at a moral impass. I figured I'd improv.

"Well, I mean, it's not finished yet."

"That's okay. I'd still like to read it."

"Even though it's not done?"

"Yeah."

"And I mean, it's a song. It's not really as good for reading..." (A bit of a reach, yes, but I was desperate)

"Oh can you sing it?!"

"Um...here you can read it."


I realized that giving it to her to read was going to be my best option. Because, and I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm what we like to call vocally challenged. I sing, and small children and old women cry. And once I was singing in the kitchen, and I saw ShortRoomate eyeing a large knife, no doubt either to silence me or to commit hari-kari.

So singing was out of the question. But she read it, and handed it back to me and says, "that was really good! Can I keep it?"

"Wait, keep what?"

"The song!"

"I mean, okay I guess?"

"Thanks!" She then unceremoniously tore it from the Moleskine, and a little part of me died.


So it's tough to say if she actually enjoyed it or was just being polite, but I'm going to go ahead and believe the first, because it makes me happy.


Oh, and for those of you following the crazy girl saga, she has yet to call to apologize. It's tough to say what the deal is.

'Cause Time Equals Money, And Money's Alright, So I've Been Working Past Nine...

Arkells - Deadlines

I like this band. They're happy. Plus, they released an EP before this CD called Deadlines, which of course did not feature the song "Deadlines," which instead went on their latest LP. And that makes me happy. So, per the usual, if you like them, and would like their CD, which features the single "Oh, The Boss Is Coming," shoot me an email. Oh, and here's an video of them playing "Deadlines" at some shitty bar, and it makes me want to see them in concert.

This is also a band that is currently unheard of, but soon, within a few years, will be huge. So this is a perfect time to start listening to them so you can be pretentious when they're big! Do it! It's great fun!


So our apartment is finally fully decorated. AND IT'S SO GOOD. It's really magnificent. I don't want to brag or exaggerate, but it's probably the best decorated apartment in history. No big deal.


Also, I had a revelation today. I realized that I like a lot of things, clothing-wise. For example, I was riding the bus back to my apartment after football today, and I found myself complimenting a girl's jacket because it had "real big buttons." And I meant it! I wasn't an awkward pick-up line, though she was cute. I actually really liked her jacket due to the size of the buttons on it.

We then had a conversation about how on many articles of clothing (specifically one's with buttons), it's really the button that makes the clothes. So besides the fact that this is clearly true (don't deny it. You know I'm right), it was also yet another event that shows my love of awkward clothing.

Here's a brief list of some of the reasons I've liked other articles of clothing:

"That blouse has fun pockets."
"It looks like you could bedazzle it!"
"I like that it has such a big collar."
"That hat looks like it was made from real fuzzy yarn."
"Your sweater has excited looking stripes."
"That's real shiny!"
and of course the classic, most awkward, least thought out "Your sweater is so baggy! I could climb inside of it with you!" He didn't appreciate that one.

But the thing is, I honestly mean all of them. I think I love clothing more than any straight man ever has.

I Don't Have Words To Say It, I Wish That You Could Feel It...

Duke Special - Mockingbird Wish Me Luck

I'm a fan of Duke Special. He's a baller. And he has a bomb haircut. I love white men with dreads. But not all his songs are like this one. Take this one for exampe. A totally different kind of song. So as usual, if you like him and would like more, let me know and I'll send it to you.

Speaking of which, I recently got my first ever request for the mp3 files themselves. I can't believe it was the first one, because I love all the songs I put up, so they're clearly great. But I mean, to each his own I suppose. But I'm right.


So let me tell you a little story. So a couple nights ago, at 2ish in the morning, I get a call from my friend. Her long-time boyfriend just broke up with her, and she's wondering if I'd come over. I get many a call like this, because I'm the guy friend, and it's my job. Plus, I keep a supply of Ben & Jerry's in my freezer for such occasions.

So I say yeah, I'll be right over, and I stop in the middle of working on a Stats project that's due the next day, because that's just what friends do, yes? So I put on my shoes and coat and bust over there. Now this girl lives 15 or 20 minutes away, so it takes me a little while to walk there, but I arrive, and she opens the door.

I say hey, and she promptly says this exact phrase to me: "I don't have time for half friends who come over out of pity. I only have time for real friends who come over because they care about me." She then slams the door.

What?!? I was in the middle of a big project that was due in a matter of hours, it's the middle of the night, and I walked over here in the cold. I care! And what makes her think I don't? All I said to her was "yeah, I'll be right over." That was the single sentence I said before we said goodbye and hung up.

So what happened in those 15 or 20 minutes while I was walking over. I mean, we had no contact with eachother. What could I have done? I honestly feel kind of bad. I mean, I seriously upset her somehow.

But I've never been called a half friend in my life prior to that night. And I don't like it. Come to think of it, I've never heard anyone use that phrase. It's a bullshit phrase. Half friend my ass.


So after discussing this with several people, the conclusion we've come to is that she was upset from the start, even when she called me, and apparently called me to come over purely to be a bitch. But again, I understand. They dated for a real real long time. She didn't really mean it. And I'm assuming that she's going to be calling me again soon for me to come over for real. I just acquired the Sex and the City movie, so I feel as if we're going to watch that. I'm going to make her watch it. Because I love it.


Oh, and after further discussion, we also decided that half of me that I have is my torso. I'm leg-free now.

I Just Forgot Who I Was Last Year...

Vetiver - Just To Have You


So I may or may not be taking this from ObnoxiouslyHappySister who apparently stole it from someone else. We're a family of thieves.

100 Things

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (And we're real good! Oh wait...shit...)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (Seeing as how I can't really afford food, really giving anything is more than I can afford?)
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (Wooo! Beans!!!!!)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight (Remember that scene in Animal House? It was a lot like that.)
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (Grade school was so boring! And High School too!)
24. Built a snow fort (yesterday?)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping (Yeah, picture that and love it.)
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (Home run derby! Be more specific!)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (Dearborn? I guess...)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (I'm counting the food court at the mall as a restaurant.)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance (I wasn't injured, per se. More just friends with the EMS people at the stadium and too lazy to walk.)
47. Had your portrait painted by your mother. It wasn't flattering.
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (I've actually done these last two at the same time. Interpret that as you will.)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a cheque
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar (ewwww)
2. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone (I think a few...)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House (I'm counting standing outside the fence around it as visiting it.)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (Small fish! Yay for Boy Scouts!)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (What's that Mike Hart? We're texting buddies? Oh that's right. I almost forgot.)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I'm Gonna Freeze You Limb By Limb, I'm Gonna Knock You On Your Knees...

Patrick Thomas - Metaphor

Patrick Thomas is my boy. I'm a fan of him, and you should be too. He's acoustic rock. Parts of it are almost countryish. Some parts are more folky. And then back to rock. It's tough to say. But I like it a lot, and that's that. And if you'd like more of him, let me know, and I'll send you the mp3s.


So we have yet to finish decorating out apartment. But again, remember, it's going to be so so so epic. It's already epic. And it's going to be epicer.


So there are times in my life, as you may or may not be aware, that I view as monumental, and worthy of telling other people. I like to call these THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. Today I had one of those moments.

Anyhoo, so I'm walking down the sidewalk, bouncing my bouncy ball, when suddenly it hits a branch and careens out of control, gaining speed as it goes, until it eventually hits a girl in the leg a little way down the sidewalk. So I amp up my walking speed from "mosey" to "saunter," and I approach this girl who has since bent down and picked up my bouncy ball, and is smirking at me.

I say to her, "yeah, I'm pretty sure that's my bouncy ball."

"That's what I figured, judging by the panicked look on your face."

"Well I mean, it's a little embarassing. I'm a sophomore in college getting my kicks from a bouncy ball."

"What? Embarassed?" reaches in her pocket and pulls out a bouncy ball "Don't you know that all the cool kids play with bouncy balls?"

"I think I might love you."

giggle "You know, maybe I could learn to love you too, bouncy ball loving stranger."


So we chatted it up for easily a half hour, thus meaning I had to haul my badunk to get to class on time, and I didn't end up getting lemonade (as my original destination was the coffee shop), but what can you do? I mean, this is a girl who plays with bouncy balls and was totally okay with a stranger saying that he loved her. Did I really have a choice?

I'll Find A Way Out, I'll Find A Way Out Of Here...

Manchester Orchestra - The Neighborhood Is Bleeding


Sad to say, our All Sport extravaganza did not happen tonight. It's because we instead went to Meijer and bought an inordinate amount of Christmas decorations. I'm legitimately a little embarassed about how much we now have. But our apartment is a winter wonderland now! It's so glorious.

We also hit up Home Depot and bought a Christmas tree. My roommates were all "let's get a fake one!" But then I learned that TallRoommate had never had a live Christmas tree. Yeah. For real. Thus, the decision was already made. So we bought an 8' Douglas Fir for 24 dollars, and I'm proud of it. We have a tree skirt!

Anyhoo, once it's done I may or may not post pictures. I mean, I'd like to, but we face several problems: for one, pictures would not really give the full effect, and two, none of us have a camera. Shit.

I would, however, point out that our apartment is better lit at night with our many many Christmas lights turned on than it ever is during the day, even with all of our other lights on. Yeah, it's that good.

Kelly Watch The Stars...

AIR - Kelly Watch The Stars

So AIR is this French band who's name is an acronym for Amour, Imagination, Rêve, which means (as ObnoxiouslyHappySister would no doubt be able to tell you) Love, Imagination, Dream. And I like them. There's not a lot of lyrics in their songs, it's mostly just super chill, but it's good. They also did the soundtrack for The Virgin Suicides. Me gusta. Plus, this video makes me happy. It's clearly super lame, but I'm a fan of it. It makes me laugh a little.


So anyhoo, tonight, my roommates and I are all going to get together and drink...wait for it...All Sport. For those of you that are unaware, All Sport is the best sports drink ever created (it also wins the prize for best sports drink website ever, if only based on the background music). My friends and I all loved it. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, they stopped selling it. We couldn't find it anywhere, and believe me, we searched. But this was years ago.

Then, a couple nights ago, I'm in a 24 hour gas station late at night buying chocolate milk, when what do I see out of the corner of my eye? A SIX PACK OF ALL SPORT! Naturally, I put the chomoo away and went and bought the All Sport. It was $5.94, and worth every penny.

I've yet to drink any of it. Again, it's been years, and I want to be in the perfect state for drinking it: well rested, full, and playing video games. Hence, our plans for tonight. I'll tell you how it goes.

Can You See Me At All? Do You Care To Understand?

Nil Lara - I Will Be Free


So I watched Catch Me If You Can tonight for the first time since it was in theaters. I'd forgotten how great it was. Leo is my boy. But then, suddenly, out of nowhere, who comes on the screen? AMY ADAMS! I can't get rid of her! She's following me! Damn you Amy Adams! Damn you to hell!

I don't know why I have this vendetta against her. I don't really mind her. I think her name upsets me...damn alliterations. I think we should ban all of them. Ray Romano, your name is now Orlando Romano. Michael Moore, you'll be Orlando Romano. Sufjan Stevens...Orlando Romano. It'll be a simple system.


Also, FavoriteUConnStudent (who occasionally reads this blog, but probably won't see this post so I can really say whatever I want about her) has been whining that I've yet to send her the letter that I promised her weeks ago. But I'm writing it tomorrow morning, and it's going in the mailbox before the mailman comes. So if you're reading this, BE EXCITED.