You Wait A Long Time For Me...

Lazlo Bane - I'm Not In Love

I know, I always forget they have songs that aren't "Superman" too.


So I went to Meijer today, and I actually had a goal in mind. Usually I just go there to wander with people, and hang out in the bulk food aisle. Because my friends and I are ballers.

But not today! Today, I was on a mission! Stay away old woman who no doubt has interesting stories! Out of the way small child! No time to dodge you today! Move it family of four! Stop impeding my progress! You don't need food today! No! For today...I bought moisturizer! While it might not seem like much to you, buying moisturizer is super exciting for me. Because, and I don't know if you know this about me, I use more of it than anyone I've ever met. I carry a bottle of it around with me 24/7.

Yes, I do get made fun of for this. But that's okay, because it keeps my face silky smooth. The only problem with it is that it costs 11 dollars a bottle, and I run through about a bottle every three to four weeks, which sucks, because I'm poor.

Many people say to me, "hey, why don't you just buy a cheaper brand?" "Don't be an idiot," I say, "I can't just switch brands! Where's your loyalty?!" They usually start to argue, but then walk away (Victory!!).

So moral of the story, if you have any spare Cetaphil Daily Facial Moisturizer With SPF 15 that you'd like to get rid of, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands. No need to thank me. Just doing my duty to society.